Soft Signs to Determine if your Child is Using Chemicals

Bad kids

1. Does your chiold seem to be changing? Is your child becoming more inrritable, secretive, upredictable, hostile, depressed, uncooperative, apathetic, withdrawn or sullen, less affectionate, easily provoked, or oversnsitive.

2. Is your child becoming less responsible?

3. Is your child changing friends, dress code, or interests?

4. Is your child more difficult to communicate with?

5. Is your child beginning to evidence physical and/or mental deteriorations?

6. Is your child’s behavior becoming more intolerable?

If your are interested in learning more about the soft signs of the above-referenced material, you may contact drnorm at: askdrnorm@drnorm.com

Ten Ways To Feed Your Child’s Uncaring Child

Troubled kids

1. Don’t allow your child to feel emotional pain.
2. Wait until the child “grows out” of misbehavior
3. Ignore your child’s temper tantrum.
4. Promise your child a special treat if he discontinues his temper outbursts
5. Whenever your child needs money or privilege, give him a special chore to accomplishes, and pay      him immediately.
6. Tell your child to stop misbehavior repeatedly
7. Don’t set behavioral parameters regarding what behaviors are not permissible.
8. Strive for family equality.
9. Don’t empower your child to make choices. Tell them what to do, when to do it and how to do it.
10. Don’t risk disciplining your child for fear that he may run away, use drugs or take up with sleazy          characters.

Nature versus Nurture

See full size image

I have often been asked about which is more important in
child rearing, nature…or nurture. Although the answer is not a simple one, I
theorize that the newly born infant as one with a genetic predisposition, or
similar to a computer’s mother board with pre-wiring. The pre-writing contains
information about mood, temperament, hair and eye color, certain behavioral characteristics,
etc…

 

Subsequent to the birth of the infant, he/she is a primitive
and uncivilized bundle of incredible nuances that become the idealization of
mankind (womankind as well). However, without proper formatting, like the
computer

Teenage Crushes on Teachers

In my clinical
opinion, many adolescent girls have crushes on teachers. The girls are
especially vulnerable to those teachers who are younger than their
parent and certainly a little older then they are. I call this
attraction "prestigious attraction." The girl is enamored with their
teacher whom they believe is smarter, and more worldly then their
parents. They envision this person as the Messiah and the one who can somehow take them away from their dull and pointless life.

This
relationship can be especially dangerous if the teacher has a neurotic
need to be admired and "adored." Perhaps because of their own neurotic
turmoil that is present in their life, they look to this vulnerable
teen as their own way out of their dismal crisis. The teacher and teen
may then fantasies and they create a relationship built on psychopathological needs.

If
the teen is especially a moderate or sub-dominate individual, she will
be more highly susceptible to the influence of a more dominate and
charismatic "leader." The result may lead to tragic consequences for
all.

Stressed-out Parents!

Here is what I had to say to the Associated Press:

Parents of teens watch Nebraska safe haven law

http://tinyurl.com/67gtvq

 "Parents
are almost always blamed," said Dr. Norman Hoffman, a family therapist
in Ormond Beach, Fla., and author of the book "Bad Children Can Happen
to Good Parents."

 "It's
like, `What did I do wrong?' But there's hope in every city and every
state. It's just a matter of understanding the ways in which to work
with the system. You have to fight, you have to scream and shout for
services."

 Stressed-out
parents with meager finances, little education or language barriers may
have trouble navigating often complicated procedures and paperwork to
seek help, either through government agencies or private organizations,
Hoffman said. And shame may hold some of them back, allowing defiant,
drug-using or otherwise troubled young people to spin out of control.

 

Yet
Hoffman considers the notion of abandoning an older child under safe
haven "barbaric" and "primitive" when free or low-cost treatment and
intervention is available. Parents in a variety of life circumstances
agreed."

 

Uncaring Children

Kids who give "nothing back" to their parents, in spite of being provided all of their
needs, love, affection, etc. should be considered "Uncaring Children." This is not to say however, that they can't be reached and changed. To get the child to change this uncaring behavior, the parents must first, change the playing field. The parents must get their "power" back and make the child experience "discomfort" while the parents "feel fine" or "comfortable." This task is easily accomplished by setting up clear and consistent objectives, i.e., take out the trash every Tuesday and Friday before 6:30PM. If the chore is not performed, the parents will enact the effective and powerful technique, as outlined in my book, "Over-correction." This technique is simple a catastrophic intelligent response to the child's lack of cooperation. The child must complete 5 chores while grounded in a twenty-four hour period. If the chores are not accomplished, the grounding continues until satisfactory completion.

Children Who Murder

In 1994 Eric Smith was 13 years old. He murdered a 4 year-old boy, Derrick Robie.

Smith grew up in a small town of 970 people in New York. It was reported that he was terribly bullied and teased, and had “no friends.” He was found guilty of murder and was sentenced to the maximum of 9 years in prison.

Although there is a tremendous amount of controversy raised with regard to whether or not he has served enough time, or should serve more time, the real focus should be on the many “red flags” or “soft signs” that were screaming during his childhood.

It was obvious that he was horribly teased and bullied which resulted in his becoming a loner without any friends. He was observed by family members expressing a great deal of rage without any significant rationale for such behavior.

It is tragically sad, that if the family members of Eric Smith had the advantage of being able to identify and recognize his early “soft signs” of the “Uncaring Child Syndrome” and appropriate intervention was initiated, this horrific crime may have been prevented.

Advice for Parents of “Uncaring Children”

Kids who give "nothing back" to their parents, in spite of being provided all of their
needs, love, affection, etc. should be considered "Uncaring Children." This is not to say however, that they can't be reached and changed. To get the child to change this uncaring behavior, the parents must first, change the playing field. The parents must get their "power" back and make the child experience "discomfort" while the parents "feel fine" or "comfortable." This task is easily accomplished by setting up clear and consistent objectives, i.e., take out the trash every Tuesday and Friday before 6:30PM. If the chore is not performed, the parents will enact the effective and powerful technique, as outlined in my book, "Over-correction." This technique is a simple but catastrophic intelligent response to the child's lack of cooperation.